When should I announce my pregnancy?

One of the first big questions many people face after finding out they’re pregnant is: When should I share the news?

You may have heard of the “12-week rule,” where many choose to wait until after the first trimester to announce their pregnancy. This is often because the risk of miscarriage decreases after 12 weeks. While it's unfortunately true that one in four pregnancies end in loss, is encouraging secrecy equating to more support? I would say no!

For some, waiting feels safer and more private during those early, uncertain weeks. But here’s the thing: there is no right or wrong time to share your news. It’s all about what feels best for you.

My husband and I chose to share our pregnancy news with close family and friends just a few weeks after finding out. Even though we knew there was a chance the pregnancy could end in loss, we felt strongly about having the support of our loved ones, no matter the outcome. At the same time, we decided to wait until later in the pregnancy to share the news more broadly. This allowed us to take our time, share the news in person with those closest to us, and fully enjoy those special moments together.

The "12-week rule" was designed to protect us from heartache, but what it often does is:
✔️ Isolate us from the support we need during early pregnancy or in the event of a loss.
✔️ Increase anxiety and create a false hope of reaching a certain gestation as a "safe zone."
✔️ Create stigma around early loss, minimising the feelings of grief that come with losing a baby, no matter the gestation.
✔️ Make women feel alone during one of the most vulnerable times of their lives.

Here are a few things to consider when deciding when to announce your pregnancy:
✔️ Your Support Network: If you’d want the support of certain friends or family regardless of the outcome, consider sharing the news with them early.
✔️ Your Comfort Level: Ask yourself how comfortable you feel sharing now versus waiting a bit longer.
✔️ Your Personal Preferences: Some love the idea of a big reveal, while others prefer quiet, one-on-one announcements.
✔️ Your Circumstances: If symptoms are becoming obvious or you have events coming up where it will be hard to hide, you might decide to share sooner.

There’s no rule that says you must wait until 12 weeks - or that you can’t wait even longer. This decision is yours, and what matters most is that it aligns with your comfort and needs.

Whether you share early, late, or somewhere in between, remember this: It’s your pregnancy, and you get to make the rules.

Sending you love and encouragement as you navigate these early weeks. If you’d like to talk or share your thoughts, my inbox is always open.

All the best,
Tam xx

P.S. I’d love to hear your story - have you announced already, or are you waiting?

P.P.S If you are in your first trimester and would like some help navigating early pregnancy. Check out my FREE complete guide to early pregnancy.