Are You Sick of Hearing "Just Wait..." Too?

I know I am!

If you're a mum - or even thinking about becoming one - you've probably heard this phrase more times than you can count. I know I have. And every time I hear it, I feel that tiny sting in my gut that says: Can't I just enjoy where I am now without being warned about the next thing? OR Can't I just complain about how I am feeling right now!

When I was pregnant, I was bombarded with these "warnings":

• "Oh, you're tired now? Just wait until the baby's born."

• "Just wait until your nipples are cracked and sore from breastfeeding."

• "Just wait until you've forgotten what sleep feels like."

• "Just wait until they're a toddler - you won't get a second to yourself!"

And the list goes on. What's meant to be a joyful, transformative, beautifully hard time often gets overshadowed by a constant stream of caution signs.

Let's be honest - those "just wait" comments? They're rarely helpful.

In face, they can be harmful, especially when you're already feeling vulnerable, anxious or unsure. So today, I want to explore why this phrase needs to go and how we can lovingly flip the script - for ourselves and each other.

Reason 1: It Undermines the Present Moment

When someone tells you, 'Just wait until the next hard thing,' it does more than just prepare you (spoiler alert: it doesn't really do that anyway). It steals the joy from where you are now.

Pregnant and feeling exhausted? "Just wait" implies that your current struggle isn't valid because worse is coming.

Overwhelmed in the newborn phase? "Just wait" makes it seem like you haven't even scratches the surface of hard yet.

But here's the truth: every stage is hard. Every stage is real. And every stage deserves to be acknowledged.

When someone says, “Oh, just wait until you have two kids,” what they’re really saying is: your hard is not hard enough yet. That’s not empathy - that’s comparison. And comparison has no place in a supportive motherhood journey.

Instead, imagine if we said:

“That sounds tough - this stage really stretches you, doesn’t it?”
OR
“You’re doing so well - how are you feeling with all the changes right now?”

Those responses validate the present, not some hypothetical future. And that validation? That’s what most mothers are craving.

Reason #2: It Plants Seeds of Fear and Anxiety

The “just wait” mindset doesn’t just invalidate the now - it projects fear into the future.

For a first-time mum, especially, this can be incredibly damaging. You’re already navigating a sea of unknowns. Hormones are fluctuating. Your identity is shifting. Your body is doing crazy things. And then… enter a well-meaning friend, relative, or stranger at the shops telling you to “just wait...”

“Just wait until the sleep regressions.”
“Just wait until they’re teething.”
“Just wait until they’re teenagers - then you’ll really be in trouble!”

These phrases might come wrapped in a chuckle or a knowing glance, but the impact is often silent and heavy. You start to anticipate dread instead of joy. And worse - you start to doubt your ability to cope.

We don’t need more fear in motherhood. We need more support. More “you’ve got this.” More “you’ll figure it out, just like you always do.”

Because here’s the thing:
You’re not going to experience every hard thing someone else did. Your baby is not their baby. Your body is not their body. And your journey is not their journey.

We as women already have the skills to know and anticipate - we often don’t need help imagining future difficulties. What we do need is empathy, support, and reminders that we are doing okay!

Reason #3: It Invalidates Personal Experiences

Another major problem with “just wait” comments is that they make sweeping assumptions about what motherhood should feel like.

Here’s an example:

A woman says she’s enjoying her pregnancy, and someone replies:
“Just wait until your back’s aching, and you can’t sleep!”

But what if that never happens? Or what if it does, but she still finds joy in the experience overall?

Every woman’s experience of pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood is different - and that’s exactly why generalised “just wait” warnings fall flat. They don’t leave room for nuance. For positivity. For surprise. For grace. And for the simple fact that no two experiences are exactly the same.

You might love the newborn phase, even if it’s messy. You might hate breastfeeding, even if you thought you’d love it. You might find toddlers easier than babies (yep - it happens!).

The “just wait” narrative assumes a linear path of hardship, when in reality, motherhood is anything but linear.

Let’s give each other permission to experience motherhood differently and let’s stop trying to script someone else’s journey before it unfolds.

Reason #4: It Reinforces a Negative View of Motherhood

This might be the biggest one of all.

When we constantly hear “just wait,” what we’re really being fed is the idea that motherhood is mostly misery with occasional silver linings.

But that’s not true.

Yes, it’s hard.
Yes, it will stretch you.
Yes, it will bring you to your knees some days.

But it’s also:

• Joyful beyond words

• Filled with tiny, magical moments

• A journey of love, purpose and transformation

What would happen if we instead said:

“Just wait until you meet your baby for the first time and see their little face.”
“Just wait until you see their first smile.”
“Just wait until you get to share your favourite things with them.”
“Just wait until they say ‘mama’ for the first time.”

Let’s validate how we are currently feeling! Every stage of motherhood is hard. Pregnancy is hard, birth is hard, postpartum is hard, and motherhood is hard. Everyone will experience different types of hard in each of these stages. BUT with the hard comes unspeakable joy, love, and happiness. We need to give these positives a voice. Let’s flip the switch and focus on all the amazing things to come, not just the ‘what ifs’ and ‘just waits’.

These positive “just wait”s exist too and they are just as real, just as worthy, and just as important to say.

Reason #5: It Misses a Powerful Opportunity for Connection

Finally, the phrase “just wait” shuts down connection rather than opening it up.

When a mum shares something vulnerable - “I’m really struggling with breastfeeding” - and someone responds with, “Just wait until they start teething,” the moment is gone.

The mum’s feelings? Brushed aside. Her need for support? Missed.

But when someone says instead:

“I remember those early days - would it help to talk about what worked for me?”
OR:
“I hear you. It can be really tough. You’re doing a great job.”

That’s connection. That’s community. That’s what we need more of in motherhood.

We don’t need constant warnings.
We don’t need emotional one-upping.
We need to hold space. Share gently. Love each other well.

What You Can Say Instead of “Just Wait…”

Not sure how to reframe the reflex to “prepare” someone? Here are a few alternatives:

• “You might surprise yourself - I found that stage easier than I expected.”

• “If that part gets tricky, I’m here to help you through it.”

• “This is such a beautiful time - enjoy every minute you can.”

• “It’s okay if it feels hard. You’re allowed to say that and still love your baby.”

• “I remember that time too - let me know if you ever want to chat about it.”

These kinds of comments leave room - for hope, honesty, and support. They don’t assume. They don’t invalidate. They simply show up with empathy.

Let’s Flip the Script - Together

So here’s the truth about the phrase “just wait…”

It’s outdated.
It’s often unhelpful.
And it’s time to let it go.

Every stage of motherhood comes with its own set of joys, challenges and fears. Some days will be easier. Some will be so, so hard. But none of them are made better by being warned of what might be coming.

Let’s rewrite this narrative.

Let’s remind each other that:

• It’s okay to enjoy where you are.

• It’s okay to feel what you feel.

• It’s okay to reach out for support if you are finding things difficult.

Ready to Take the Power Back? Let’s Do It Together. 💕

If you want to take the power back from the “just wait…” comments, the best way to do that is to feel informed, supported, and prepared for what’s ahead.

The unknown will always exist but when we’re educated, surrounded by community, and shown compassion, it loses its power to scare us.

✨ That’s what I’m here for. Whether you’re navigating pregnancy, preparing for birth or newly postpartum, I’m here to provide you education on all things birth and beyond.

Let’s raise each other up. Let’s talk about what’s real. And let’s make space for both the hard and the beautiful.

DM me on Instagram or comment on this blog and tell me your favourite “just wait” moment - the one you're most looking forward to. I’d truly love to hear it.

Wishing you all the best,
Tam xx