As a midwife, I've supported so many beautiful births. But becoming a mum myself and stepping into birth from the other side, changed everything.

I'm sharing my birth story to document this special chapter of my life. I also want to offer hope, encouragement and a positive story to any woman who feels anxious or unsure about what birth might be like.

I know how common it is to be surrounded by fear, negativity and worst-case scenarios, especially if you're planning a hospital birth. It doesn't have to be that way.

This was my experience of giving birth as a first-time mum and a midwife. It wasn't perfect or pain-free. It was raw, intense and incredibly transformative. It was also empowering and it's such a beautiful experience to look back on.

I hope it helps you feel that a calm, confident and positive hospital birth is possible for you too.

My Birth at a Glance

✔️ First baby, born at 38+2 weeks (38 weeks and 2 days)
✔️ Cared for by a MGP midwife (Midwifery Group Practice, a model of care where you have the same known midwife through pregnancy, birth and after)
✔️ A stop-start early labour that began at 37+6 weeks
✔️ Comfort tools: breathing, affirmations, a birth ball, a TENS machine, the shower and the bath
✔️ Our baby boy was born via vaginal birth, followed by a physiological birth of the placenta
✔️ Home six hours after birth

Before Birth: A Complicated Pregnancy

My pregnancy wasn't easy.

I had hyperemesis gravidarum (severe nausea and vomiting in pregnancy) and was sick every single day until my baby was born. The moment he was placed on my chest, I felt instant relief. It's a shift that's hard to put into words.

I also struggled with my mental health throughout my pregnancy. Early on, I was consumed by anxiety and fears of pregnancy loss. As the weeks went on, that shifted into worries about stillbirth. The constant sickness made everything harder. It was isolating, debilitating and exhausting, and it drained me physically and mentally.

There were some added complexities too. I was diagnosed with Anti-Di(a) antibodies (an antibody in my blood that can sometimes affect baby), and I presented to hospital a few times with decreased fetal movements. (If your baby's movements ever change, please call your hospital straight away. It's always worth checking.) All of this meant extra monitoring and ongoing conversations with my care team.

Even with my midwifery background, I was reminded of what so many women go through: the unknowns, the constant checking in and the emotional weight of "what if?"

That's why I became incredibly intentional about preparing for birth. I have seen first-hand the difference knowledge and preparation make to a birth experience.

From 28 weeks, I practised breathing techniques every day and did regular mindset work. I only listened to positive and balanced birth stories, and I actively blocked out fear-based advice. I sat down with my midwife and worked through my birth preferences. We made sure we were on the same page about what I was hoping for and about how we could work together to get there if needed.

Most importantly, my husband and I did a birth education course together (Learn more about that here). It gave him the tools to be the incredible support partner I needed and it gave me the confidence to trust my body and my birth team.

Early Labour at Home

At 37+6 weeks, I felt my first contractions on a Thursday night as I was getting ready for bed. They were coming every 15 minutes and lasting about a minute each. I knew this could be the beginning, but I also knew it might be days away.

I quietly went into my zone. I put on my meditation tracks, breathed through the sensations, and rested and slept as much as I could between contractions.

By morning, they had fizzled out, the classic stop-start of early labour. Instead of feeling disheartened, I reminded myself that my body and baby were getting ready in their own time. I got on with my day and stayed in that calm, trusting headspace.

Looking back, I realise those early contractions were helping my baby move into a better position for birth. My body was working, even when it didn't look like "progress."

Friday Night: Labour Ramps Up

At 9:30pm on Friday night, the contractions came back, every 10 minutes, all through the night. I struggled to sleep, but I stayed calm using my breathing and mindset tools.

By 6am on Saturday, the intensity had picked up and they were coming every six minutes. I sent my husband off to golf (because I wasn't entirely sure this was it!) and felt confident managing things on my own for now.

I used my birth ball, did optimal fetal positioning exercises and kept to my usual routine. I even did some light cleaning, because I wanted to come home to a clean house if things progressed. I knew how important oxytocin was, so I listened to my favourite music, watched a feel-good movie and did some antenatal expressing (hand-expressing colostrum before birth). Looking back, I was gently preparing my space and my mindset for what was to come.

The Shift to Active Labour

When my husband got home around 1:45pm, things had intensified again.

By 3pm, I was using the TENS machine while swaying, moving through contractions and changing positions often. I had my affirmations playing and my birth space set up just how I wanted it.

We turned the bathroom into a safe space, with low lights, fairy lights and calming tracks playing. My husband was incredible. He brought me water, snacks and encouraged me, kept me grounded and reminded me of everything we'd practised.

At 7pm, I got into the shower. The hot water was amazing and helped me stay at home for longer, which was my preference. Between contractions I washed my hair, partly as a distraction and partly because I wasn't sure when I'd get another chance!

My contractions had been regular and intense since 3:45pm. Around 8pm I felt it was time to go to hospital, so I told my husband I was ready to go in and he called our MGP midwife.

To keep the disruption of the move as minimal as possible, I stayed in the shower while my husband packed the car and grabbed the last-minute things. In the car, I used my TENS machine and a heat pack, closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Being seated and unable to move during contractions was definitely more intense.

Arriving at the Hospital

We arrived at the hospital at 9:30pm. The room was beautifully prepared, with fairy lights glowing, the bath filled and aromatherapy on. It felt safe and familiar.

I asked for a vaginal examination. White I didn't need anyone's permission to be there. I did want to know whether I was in active labour, and if I wasn't, I was prepared to go home again.

I was 4cm.

Part of me had hoped to be further along (as so many women do!), but it was such a mental release to know things were really happening. As a midwife, I'd been very worried about turning up "too early" and feeling judged. Looking back it seems silly, but the fear was very real for me and it was definitely holding my labour back.

Being told I was in established labour gave me permission to fully surrender. I felt safe, validated and ready to let go.

Back in the shower, I kept breathing and moving. Then the exhaustion hit me hard. I hadn't really slept in two nights, my legs were aching and I started thinking, I can't do this for another 24 hours.

That's when the doubt crept in, I definitely fell into a crisis of confidence.

My husband sensed it straight away. He stayed close, reassured me constantly, reminded me of my preferences, brought me back to my breathing and helped me focus on one contraction at a time. He was calm, confident and so in tune with what I needed. (Yes, he still credits the birth course! 🙌🏻)

I needed a shift to change things up and break the cycle of doubt, so I got into the bath.

The relief was instant. The weightlessness gave me space to rest and for a short while my contractions spaced out just enough for me to catch my breath and have a break.

My midwife and husband worked together beautifully, using massage, breathing cues and quiet encouragement.

Transition: The Most Intense Part

Then came transition and it hit hard.

I lost focus. The sounds coming out of me didn't even feel like mine. Around 11pm, my waters broke in the bath and everything intensified. I remember yelling, "I want to leave!" and genuinely wanting out.

I got out of the bath to use the toilet and the contractions were right on top of each other. I asked for an epidural. Part of me knew this could be transition, but in the moment it was all so overwhelming.

My husband stayed grounded and knowing my preferences, reminded me: "You're doing it. Just take it one contraction at a time. Give it another 30 minutes and we can talk about it again if you still want it – but you are doing really well."

That moment, when I felt like I couldn't go on, was actually the moment I was getting closer to meeting my baby.

The Final Stage: Trusting My Body

Sitting on the toilet, I could feel the intensity and just how exhausted I was. I decided to ask for a vaginal examination to help me decide whether I really wanted the epidural. I knew an examination couldn't tell me how long I had left until birth, but I could use it to help me make a choice.

As I walked back into the room, I felt the pressure change. My body was instinctively changing position every few contractions and I couldn't sit still on the bed, so I decided against the examination and just went with it. I tried my best to focus on my breathing. Standing, rocking and moving through the contractions gave me the most relief. I wasn't thinking, I was just doing.

I could feel my baby moving lower into my pelvis, and I knew I was nearly there.

By 12:15am, my body began to push. It was primal, powerful and unstoppable. I could feel my baby moving down and I asked my midwife if it was okay to push.

She simply said, "Trust your body, do what feels right."

And so I did.

I focused on what my body was telling me, pushed and changed positions instinctively, with my husband by my side holding the fan and reassuring me.

At 12:29am, just minutes later, our beautiful baby was born and placed straight into my arms. I was so shocked that our baby was finally here that I didn't even check the gender until my midwife asked. When I finally looked and shouted, "It's a boy!", it was the most magical moment.

The Golden Hours

We delayed cord clamping until after the placenta was born physiologically at 1:10am. My husband cut the cord, and I had two and a half hours of uninterrupted skin-to-skin with our baby.

I had a third-degree tear, but my preferences were respected and the repair was done in the birth suite while I kept holding my baby. Even with that complication, I look back on my experience as deeply positive.

Afterwards, my husband had his own hour of skin-to-skin while I got up, showered and basked in that post-birth high.

We went home six hours after the birth, just the three of us, beginning our new chapter as a family.

Reflections: What I Learned as a Midwife and a Mum

Even as a midwife, birth humbled me.

The whole process was very intense and there is definitely nothing like it, but it is such a positive experience to look back on. I am so proud of myself and so happy that I was able to have the birth I was hoping for.

It reminded me that birth is not something you control. It's something you prepare for, surrender to and move through with the right support around you.

It showed me the power of preparation and mindset. The breathing, the affirmations and the stories I chose to hear all mattered.

It showed me how important it is to be informed and to build a birth toolkit. I understood my options, knew what was important to me and felt confident to change course when I needed to. My husband had practical tools, and I had strategies to carry me through each moment.

Most importantly, it proved something I want every woman to know:

You don't need to be a midwife to feel empowered in birth.

You just need the right information, the right tools and the right support.

To Anyone Reading This…

If you're pregnant right now and feeling unsure…
If you've been overwhelmed by the horror stories and fear-based advice…
If you're wondering whether a calm, positive hospital birth is actually possible…

Please know this: It is. 💕

Birth doesn't have to be traumatic or terrifying. It can be intense and beautiful. It can be powerful, raw and positive, even when things don't go perfectly to plan.

You are capable. You are strong. And you don't have to do this alone.

A Gentle Disclaimer

Every birth is different and no two experiences will ever be exactly the same.

This is my story, shaped by my own preferences, circumstances and decisions in the moment. The choices I made were right for me, but that doesn't mean they're right for everyone.

There's no one-size-fits-all approach to birth. The most empowering thing you can do is prepare well and make decisions that feel aligned with your values, your body and your baby.

Want to Feel Calm and Prepared for Your Birth?

If my story resonated with you and you're ready to feel calm, informed and empowered for your birth, my course Empowered Birth is here to support you.

It's the same framework my husband and I used to prepare together. It's designed for mums planning a hospital birth who want evidence-based, judgement-free education.

✨ Learn more about Empowered Birth.

Curious how my second birth unfolded? Read my breech birth story here.

I'm here for you,
Tam xx